· Don’t be too aggressive. If the custodial parent remarries, give him or her plenty of time to make the new marriage work. Such family transitions are usually difficult for young children, who may be torn by loyalty to the divorced or deceased parent(s).
· Don’t make a lawsuit your first course of action. First, open a line of communication with the parent or parents. Try mediation. Try to determine what the problem is. “More often than not, visitation is not being denied because the parents think contact with the grandparents will be harmful to the children,” says Richard Victor, a Michigan attorney who specializes in grandparent visitation cases, and the Executive Director of the Grandparents Rights Organization (GRO). “Instead, the parent fears that the grandparent will talk to the children about him or her in an adverse way.” He suggests discussing with the parent some ground rules for visitation. Whatever rules are agreed upon, follow them.
· When there is no other recourse, call your local bar association for referral to a family-law attorney, preferably one with experience in third-party visitation rights. When you meet with the attorney, be prepared with documentary evidence and lists of witnesses to support your contention that it is in the best interests of the children for them to see you. Evidence that a consistent, caring relationship existed between you and your grandchild in the past is important.
· If there is animosity between you and the children’s parents, do everything you can to keep the children from getting involved in it.
· Remember that grandparent visitation rights are not intended or designed to supersede parental authority. Grandparents should step in only when there is a threat to the children’s safety. If there is evidence that the children are being physically or emotionally abused, contact the department of social services, e.g. The Division of Youth and Family Services, for the protection of minor children in the state where the children live.
· Be aware, too, that the law applying to your visitation rights is the law in the state where the grandchildren live, not where you or your child lives.
AUTHOR: Joan Yuhas McGowan
MORE INFO: Excerpted from "Grandparents' Rights: You and Your Grandchildren"
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